A downward spiral

A downward spiral//

My experience working with the Deaf community was amazing it was so fulfilling and rewarding knowing that the work we were doing was really being appreciated by all. And what's more I was doing it with some awesome people, not only were they my co-volunteers and counter parts but they were my friends, well most of them were.. But I'm not gonna get into that. 

So with only 3 weeks left of the programme I spent one of those weeks in hospital and the following two back in the UK recovering. Basically I was taken into hospital with a high temperature and excruciating lower back pain, which actually turned out to be some sort of virus that I'd caught out there. So I went through into A&E where I had Valium injected straight into my blood stream for the back pain which helped tremendously. Shortly after I had a seizure and was sedated, that week in hospital was a blur to say the least but overall I had 8 tonic clonic seizures within 5 days? I was so drained it was stupid. I can't even remember how long I was in there for. A couple days after being discharged from the hospital I was flown home accompanied by a lovely Thai doctor in 1st class, all thanks to AXA insurance and I didn't really get the chance to experience 1st class fully due to being asleep the majority of the way.

It was in the Philippines that the doctors increased my medications, put me on sleeping tablets along with a load of other tablets.

I'm not gonna get into the whole friendship deal because like I have always said ''Friends come and go but family is forever''. 

When I had fully recovered, I saw my doctor and was referred back to the hospital to see yet another neurologist, so only time could tell what's was next on the health cards for me. Along with that I started the application process to claim Personal Independence Payment (PIP) and to get a free bus pass as I was and still am unable to drive due to my epilepsy. 

The job hunt began//

For some reason job hunting seemed so much more difficult than it used to, I mean I left Next in November 2014 in preparation for my volunteering adventure so really I had only been unemployed since my return from Cebu which was late March and I had applied for countless jobs including back at Next but in different stores and just kept on being turned down. I had never been turned down for a job until then. It was really starting to take a toll on me and my motivation, so I had no other choice than to sign on with the Job centre..

It was a first experience for me and one that I didn't intend on being in for long. Never in my life had I had to sign on, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I'd not even had my first payment and I had pretty much got a job in the bag! :D Happy Days!! I had an hour trial run on a Wednesday then I whether the job is for me or not.

I swear forms are the bane of my existence, I have lost count how many forms and application forms I've had to fill out. 

Since leaving that job I've had one other employment which ended March 2016 due to health reasons and the company. I won't name the company but it was an energy company, not a place I would ever go back to. Since then I moved back in with my mum and siblings and have been signed off from working until my epilepsy and depression are under control.

In my next post I'll be discussing my experience so far with the applications of Personal Independence Payment (PIP) and Earning support allowance (ESA).

Medication Drama

I'm constantly asking myself ''Did I take this mornings medication?''. I know for some not all of you who suffer with epilepsy you have trouble remembering to do daily tasks. Me I can't even remember to pass on one simple message to my mum. 

When I first started taking medication I was only on a small dose, only taking 2 pills per day now I'm taking 4-5 pills a day. Anti epileptic drugs (AED), anti-depressants and sleeping tablets. Sometimes I actually feel like a walking pharmacy or some sort of drug dealer. 

I guess on the bright side I've only been on 2 forms of medication just a multiple of different dosages. I have found it very helpful using a pill organiser that way I'm able to see whether I've actually taken my medication or not. You can pick them up pretty cheap, amazon, Ebay google it and you'll find loads. 

Now don't get me started on all the different side effects, almost falling asleep at the dinner table, feeling sick and anxious, having more seizures before controlling them and don't get me started on the mood swings. I have found so many times I've got angry or upset at the switch of a button. These in linked with my depression make it double as hard to control them hence why I'm also on anti depressants. 

My current medications include: Keppra, Lamotrigine & Citalopram. First off I think we have finally found the correct dosage to control my seizures, for now that is. 

There's so many symptoms when taking Keppra, I won't list them all but here's a few of the most common ones: anxiety, change in personality, headaches, irritability, mental depression, quick to react or overreact emotionally, shaking and trouble sleeping. If I'm completely honest I have all of these symptoms often especially when it comes to overreacting and getting emotional. With Lamotrigine there are symptoms but luckily I can't say I noticed any whilst I've been taken them. And citalopram well they had begun to help working and did help for a certain amount of time, but more recently I have found myself drifting back to where I started with my depression. 

I can see this may be quite daunting for some but in the long run it's totally worth the trouble. 

If anyone has any questions just give me a message and I'll get back to you as promptly as I can.