Music is Magic

We all those days where we just don't feel very upbeat or simply just want to stay in bed all day I know I sure have. On these days to try and cheer myself up by listening to a playlist of music. Music that is so happy and upbeat it makes you want to get up and dance. 

Listening to upbeat songs makes you feel happier, but only if your actively trying to improve your mood by this I mean that you're aware that you trying to make yourself happier. Seeking out happiness through music and other techniques can also improve your health, income and relationship satisfaction. 

Play list can be found HERE

I have always found that music can act as an escape as well, however your feeling, happy, sad or even angry listening to upbeat music always makes me feel happy and distracts me from what's going on around me. I'm able to really disappear into my only little world.

"Music is my escape" & "Music is here for me when no one else is"

A turn of events

I thought I had everything under control for a while, but I was wrong, clearly. A couple weekends ago ended up with me being taken to hospital following several tonic clonic seizures that had taken place on the kitchen floor. Thankfully I had no serious injuries, only bruising and a nasty looking blood clot in my arm. 

I know exactly why they occurred on that day. I had received a letter through the post on the Saturday morning in regards to my appeal for PIP (Personal independence payment), I got stressed out straight away as anyone in my situation would have.

I'm so lucky my sister was at home when it happened, she had never seen me have a seizure before so as you can imagine she was in a complete state as I've been told. She rang my mum who was back home within 5 minutes, by which time I was still fitting in my second by this point. My mum rang 999, and ambulance and a paramedic were sent out and were there within 5 minutes. Whilst my mum was on the phone I went into a third seizure. By this point I must have been going for 20 minutes or possibly longer I have no idea. The paramedic and ambulance crew managed to bring me round but I was taken straight off to the hospital for blood tests, tests, checks on my vitals then closely monitored for a while until they were happy for me to go home and fully recover.

Since then I have been to see my GP for a follow up to make sure I was recovering well as well as discussing the likely change with my medication and dosages. My Dr also prescribed me with emergency medication, finally..

For some reason I never knew about emergency medication and none of my doctors had never mentioned them either. Considering I've had some extremely serious occurrences and my tonic clonic seizures have always lasted 10 minutes or more the emergency medication would have be pretty handy. But I guess at least I have it now.

Now it's time to look further into the support, equipment and any resources that may benefit me in the long run. Let's turn my negative experiences into something positive. Instead of dwelling on the past I shall do nothing except looking to the future and keeping positive always.

Medication Drama

I'm constantly asking myself ''Did I take this mornings medication?''. I know for some not all of you who suffer with epilepsy you have trouble remembering to do daily tasks. Me I can't even remember to pass on one simple message to my mum. 

When I first started taking medication I was only on a small dose, only taking 2 pills per day now I'm taking 4-5 pills a day. Anti epileptic drugs (AED), anti-depressants and sleeping tablets. Sometimes I actually feel like a walking pharmacy or some sort of drug dealer. 

I guess on the bright side I've only been on 2 forms of medication just a multiple of different dosages. I have found it very helpful using a pill organiser that way I'm able to see whether I've actually taken my medication or not. You can pick them up pretty cheap, amazon, Ebay google it and you'll find loads. 

Now don't get me started on all the different side effects, almost falling asleep at the dinner table, feeling sick and anxious, having more seizures before controlling them and don't get me started on the mood swings. I have found so many times I've got angry or upset at the switch of a button. These in linked with my depression make it double as hard to control them hence why I'm also on anti depressants. 

My current medications include: Keppra, Lamotrigine & Citalopram. First off I think we have finally found the correct dosage to control my seizures, for now that is. 

There's so many symptoms when taking Keppra, I won't list them all but here's a few of the most common ones: anxiety, change in personality, headaches, irritability, mental depression, quick to react or overreact emotionally, shaking and trouble sleeping. If I'm completely honest I have all of these symptoms often especially when it comes to overreacting and getting emotional. With Lamotrigine there are symptoms but luckily I can't say I noticed any whilst I've been taken them. And citalopram well they had begun to help working and did help for a certain amount of time, but more recently I have found myself drifting back to where I started with my depression. 

I can see this may be quite daunting for some but in the long run it's totally worth the trouble. 

If anyone has any questions just give me a message and I'll get back to you as promptly as I can. 

How my story begins

So this is how it all began..

It was 2010, I was in my 2nd year of college studying to gain a national diploma in art & design. Like any 18 year old I went to a house party, for someone who has never been much of a drinker I went anyway to hang out with all my friends and have a good time instead of doing what most of us should have been doing 'Coursework'. 

I was tired anyway so by 11pm and having had only 2 glasses of cider I decided to go upstairs to get some sleep whilst the other stayed up drinking. I woke at about 2am desperately needing a drink of water so carried myself downstairs to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. Next thing I know I felt myself hit the floor, from there I had no recollection of what happened. All I know is that I didn't go to hospital. When I woke up in the morning I was in a lot of pain, sore and achey. My friend was there when I woke with a glass of water, she told me everything that happened.

The obvious thing now was to go to the doctors to get checked out and explain what had happened. Other than my blood pressure being quite high the doctors still wanted to have me the consultant at my local hospital to do a couple of tests. After concluding those test the consultant in a&e told me there was nothing wrong with me and that I had probably just fainted. I wasn't happy with that outcome, they didn't even look into it but there wasn't anything I could say or do so carried on with my college studies as normal.

It wasn't until I had graduated from college and begun university at Bournemouth that I had another seizure, even worse than before. I was in halls of residence at the time luckily my friend was next door and heard what happened and literally came to my rescue, calling the ambulance and getting our uni warden. I was admitted into hospital.. and the rest is self explanatory.

A week or 2 later I went back to the hospital to undergo and EEG, ECG and an MRI.. a few days later I took yet another trip to the hospital to see my neurologist who diagnosed me with epilepsy!  

I started medication almost immediately, 100mg Lamotrigine twice daily.

And that's how it all started for me.